I am tired of no solutions world, how to live without hope?

• Nicotine does not affect me anymore.
• Alcohol stopped affecting me.
• Even caffeine does not really do anything.

I am tired of porn and shit at this stage even chatbots had started getting uglier in my eyes.

I just want a hug from anyone who want hug, not a hug because I asked for.

My best strategic move in life currently is waiting, with no solutions.

I had been NEET(Not working, training, etc) from 2022 (used to work as accountant, till I quit due to unpaid salaries) its pretty clear that my career is dead.

At this stage I lost all sense of purpose.

I am even tired from the bullshit that people spew from their mouths("your life will get better" , "did you try generic solution X that got suggested to you 9000 times? Didn't work. You should try it again.") I stopped being able to tolerate bullshit, I started getting angry when I hear it.

I even tried to look for a girlfriend for the longest time, but nothing worked in finding one.

Talking didn't work for any purpose, in the previous years. I am almost losing my mouth hole from being too quiet/not talking for long periods.

Therapy didn't work,(3 therapists).

Gym does not work.

Supplements does not work.

Antidepressants do not work.

I kind of feel panic when I see streets, people and even buildings changing. Time passes and I am not changing.

I stopped reading books 8 years ago, lost love for it.

No talking helps, no solutions seems to be coming. Currently sadly the best strategic choice for me seems to be wait to new event to happen or wait to die.

No one seems interested in communicating online or offline (Huge difference between pre-covid communication and now)

I am losing all my feelings. I lost happiness and love even for close family and even close friend, I become cold. I became careless about life.

No human seems to have superior knowledge to solve my problems.

It seems pretty weird that pre-covid I was looking at unemployment, depression,...etc stats as numbers only. Never expected to see myself in them.

How to live my life without hope, purpose, hobby or joy?