Mellencamp

Keep it in mind: every time you take a shit, you're essentially reverse dildoing your ass. Very homo.

Umm, reverse homo, so super straight actually.
- Sucking dick is then always hetero, because it goes in on the other side, so kinda reversed too?
Wiping your ass is especially gay
- I read a story where a guy didnt wipe ass cause it makes you gay. He let it dry out and "handle itself". I was really hoping he was pro-bidet....

This has happened to me before.

Nothing to debate here with a username like that. Just smile and nod as I skip to the next post...
- <rolls up the window and clicks on the door locks while smiling so hard a tear comes out>

I.. is this a real thing??

I have no idea. And I'd rather not find out either. Nothing good will come from trying to find out.
- A little good might come ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Technically it's possible, but the likelihood of it ever happening to someone is about as good as you finding a leprechaun's pot of gold.
- Hah, jokes on you, that has happened to me
  I found a pot of gold
- Sounds like you underestimate the power of opiate-based constipation. I've heard from addicts of this happening enough that I just assumed it would only happen to someone that severely constipated.
Yes. It hasn't happened to me, but I had a close call once.
One of many things I will not be discussing with my therapist.
- "Let's go back to the time you had that life altering turd splooge. How do you think this affected your relationship with your father?"
Im curious too but i know there's a 0% chance of getting a straight answer here in the comments.
Yes.
I sure hope so.

Y'all need some fibre

Lots of TIL in this one

that one guy on Quora's quest to shit cum and piss at the same time is actually possible. Who knew

The unholy trinity....

What? No matter how bad a diet I’ve had this has never been a thing.

Try harder

Sitting here doom scrolling lemmy and waiting for my first mellencamp.

I can almost feel the definition of mellencamp replacing a childhood memory in my brain.

If you ever have to take a dump outside, away from a toilet, this can happen more easily. At least it's easier to notice. Happens to me nearly every time I have to do so. I work way out in the field, so often enough. Probably happens at the toilet more often than you think. You just have it tucked so piss stays in the bowl.

But ejaculate's not piss?
- Yeah, but you probably don't notice the ejaculate because you piss too.

So aah for science what diet would um assist in this happening?

As a plant eater I hate to say this but a pure meat diet (absolutely nothing else) will do this to you, it’ll be a once-a-week (or so) ass ripping constipation dump with the best chances for your eh… fulfilment.
- I had a UTI recently (thanks to the diabeetus) and for some reason I got constipated as a side effect. Can confirm, 3 days backup was enough to trigger this interesting event.
- As a pure meat eater, i have some bad news, carnivore poops are regular, small, and without any constipation.
Ignore any other advice and do heroin. The post-constipation dump is the only way I thought this happened to people lol

I thought it would be called a Mellencamp cause of his shit music.

I swear I am gonna jam a microphone down that man’s throat if I have to hear “small town” one more damn time. You can’t just rhyme small town with small town, stop saying small town!!

Yeah that had to be the worst, most repetitive song I've heard on the radio, and that's saying something

Careful, you might summon the Wanky Shit Demon by mistake

Everyone here with pre signs of colon/prostate cancer. Not saying it can't happen but man, every male gets to deal with prostate cancer at some point in their life (most grow old without it ever being noticeable, but its still thete.)

Sooo its not normal? Have I been lied too?

Nothing like suffering from the ass destroyer ripping you apart while stimulating the prostate and getting that sweet weird boner.

This reminds me about this really weird forum post I read about a long time where a lady started talking about how she orgasmed during child birth. I call BS.

Why would you call Bruce Springsteen?