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  • I sure got a lot of retaliatory physical, verbal, and psychological abuse and had everything I ever said completely disregarded though, so at least there's that.

  • It ruined my whole life. I never finished school, was only allowed to do unsatisfying simple work as I lacked any diplomas and I always felt misunderstood. I ended up joining the navy (totally not for me, as I found out I'm an anarchist and do not belong there) as I didn't have work during a financial crisis. I was never understood or accepted as I did officer's work which created hate among the other sailors and NCO's, but at the same time I was still a low life sailor (and later NCO) to the officers I worked with so was never treated with respect. I never liked it, but change is hard so I stayed there for 15 years. Now I cannot work anymore due to PTSD from deployment so it scarred me for life.

    At least I got recognition after being diagnosed 5 years ago and now I'm getting somewhat of support, but it's kinda too late as I'm damaged for life and am mentally incapable of going back to school to start over. The combination of autism, ADHD, depression and PTSD is something no one dares to treat so every form of mental help failed and gave up on me.

    But at least I have 3 cats.

    I have a steady income thanks to a military disabled pension due to my PTSD military discharge so I can support myself and my hobbies. But I lack any form of intellectual challenge and daily routine so I can't say I'm happy. Every day is a struggle and even though I have loads I can do hobby wise, I feel insanely bored and depressed and fail to do anything most days.

    My parents still don't accept it, neither does the rest of my family. They say they do, but at the same time they tell me not to be lazy and stop hiding behind the diagnose, just to man up and be normal for a change. To finally stop being a rebellious teenager in it's puberty and start to act like an adult (I'm 38). The conflict escalated many times, now to a point that I blocked all contact with them as I see their behavior as mental abuse (up to a traumatic level). So my entire family is dead to me.

    But at least I have friends who accept me for who I am, who I love and who love me. I know many can't say that so I count myself rich and fortunate in that matter.

    Because I got diagnosed, I can have some peace with myself. I can accept who and what I am. But I cannot have peace with the situation I'm in (although I know it could be a lot worse).

  • I think most of us late diagnosed peeps probably have a lot of frustration over our past. Not necessarily suffering from other people’s lack of understanding or whatever abuses we received (though there’s no way those aren’t upsetting); but the fact that, had we gotten treatment and the knowledge of what the issues were in a timely manner, we could have accomplished more. Moved forward in life and career and not had to struggle so much with personal failures, anxiety, etc.

    I don’t know why I am the way I am and don’t understand why I can’t get shit done and why are people always mad at me and why don’t I have friends and why can’t I just be left to do what I want and why do I hate parties with crowds and small talk and why can’t I just stick with something until I’m good at it…on and on…

    We can deal with maybe a shitty childhood, but we can never get the time back that was lost due to inability to perform the tasks society expects of everyone to “keep up with the pack.” Like finish a degree, advance in the workplace, look for a better job, etc.

    As much as I’d love to cheer on the abilities Au/DHD do get, like quick problem solving skills, creativity, jack-of-all-trades knowledge, pragmatically we live in a society that isn’t going to bend to accommodate us.

18 comments