Might be time to find another job

Imagine working in an office where you need to do that? Who says to themselves, "gee, i didn't bring that thing so it must be OK for me to have some"? These kinds of tactics don't come from nowhere
- I literally had this argument with the coworker who would eat other people’s food:
  “ did you eat my fucking sandwich??”
  “Oh. It was yours?”
  “Why the fuck would you do that??”
  “Well i didn’t know it was yours”
  “But you knew for certain it wasn’t YOURS, since you didn’t make and bring it!”
  “People should label stuff if they don’t want it to get eaten”
  Most frustrating person i ever met. Laziest fuck ever too. This guy couldn’t walk without dragging his feet
  
  When I was in the Navy, a dude kept eating my fucking chips and salsa. It was a small work center, we all knew whose shit was whose in our tiny fridge. So one day I put really fucking hot hot sauce in my salsa and left it in the fridge. Motherfucker has the gall to get pissed at me like I'm the asshole. He didn't eat my salsa again after that.
  
  I had a roommate burn a bunch of shit from our garage because he didn't know who owned it.
  He's like, "I asked the other roommate and he said it wasn't his so I figured it was just here with the apartment."
  "Motherfucker there are 3 people that live here. If it's not yours, and it's not the other guy's, it's probably fucking mine and you should ask before you just light shit on fire."
  Normally I'd think it was because he just didn't like me, but after knowing the guy, he was just an actual idiot.
  
  I don't like violence.
  But some people need to get punched in the mouth
  
  This guy couldn’t walk without dragging his feet
  That fucking drives me up the wall. How did your parents fail so badly that they couldn't teach you to pick up your feet?
  
  Duh, a sandwich left in the fridge is the kind of thing no one would ever expect being someone's personal lunch. You're obviously in the wrong to complain about it. Asshole.
  
  We have to label things so they can get eaten. We literally have a "this is communist milk, it's for everyone".
  
  Put rocks in it and if they complain about their broken teeth you tell that you're trying to fix your mineral deficiency.
- At one of my previous jobs it was the head of HR stealing people's food. Every time somebody complained he'd put up a sign and start "investigating", but nothing ever came of it despite having cameras pointed at the fridge. Eventually someone got tired of it, put up their own camera, and caught the head of HR on camera a couple times. Apparently the president of the company didn't care and brushed it off. I only found out because the guy with evidence blanket emailed the videos to the whole company. Of course he got written up for doing that.
  
  I'm surprised the HR guy didn't get the shit kicked out of him
- I don't get how the people here are offended by this. Entitlement? It's so fun to bring something in to just to find out it's gone before you even opened it. Even with a god damn name label. If I bought a carton of milk, I wouldn't mind sharing some, but not the entire thing for one person to make porridge from. At that point you cunts can just buy your own shit.
  
  Yeah, can you believe how some people are so entitled they check notes* expect to be able to use the food they bought
  
  I'm offended because this is indicative of a much larger problem(distrust amongst coworkers) and I don't think people should be so satisfied with this band-aid solution.
  This feels like a microcosm of society as a whole right now. 3 individuals taking individual action that won't solve the root problem.
  And I can easily imagine the boss(or anyone with actual authority) having their own personal fridge and just ignoring the situation entirely no matter how often it's brought up.
  You can feel fully justified in doing something and still hate having to do it.
  
  i don’t understand how companies don’t just… provide milk tbh… milk, cheap coffee and tea… it’s such an incredibly cheap way to make people feel slightly less like garbage
- So I have to cook for my clients every day. Leftovers from most meals are kept in our staff fridge because the guys will absolutely gorge themselves on them if left alone.
  Every fucking morning, our old nurse would come in and head straight for the fridge to make a plate of those leftovers. Never once brought in her own breakfast or lunch. If the behaviorist didn't cook something for her for lunch when she was serving the guys, she'd go right back in the fridge.
  Say there was enough for a whole other meal and we planned to use it again, put a big label like "FOR FRIDAY'S DINNER." It didn't matter... You'd go in and there'd be a huge chunk missing. One day, she actually ate a half of a half-serving tray worth of meat. I went in the next day and flipped. "Oh, I didn't know it was for today." "IT HAS A LABEL ON IT THAT SAYS IT'S FOR DINNER! I HAVE NOTHING TO GIVE THEM NOW! YOU ATE HALF THE MEAT MEANT FOR 8 PEOPLE!" "Oh I'm sorry, I didn't know..."
  It didn't stop her, either... The worse part is that she was skinny as a twig.
  
  Just start calling her The Food Thief in front of people at every opportunity. Public shaming can be powerful.
  
  Likely that was her only food source.
- You know what, I wouldn't even bother if it happened once. I wouldn't like to be in the same situation, and while I would ask first, I understand we're not the same. The moment it happens the second time, though... Pure laxative with white food colouring.

A more pertinent concern is having to work with the person whose behavior precipitated this reaction.
One person locking their milk makes them a weirdo. Three means someone else is.
- Plot twist: one guy brought in 3 locked milks.
  
  Or one guy keeps bringing in milk, and another guy keeps locking that guy’s milk.
  
  Whenever his milk starts going off at home, he locks it up and brings it to the office to see how long people will respect the locks before throwing away rotten milk.
- I think that's the point if you read between the lines. I don't think this shit post is arguing that those who lock their milk aren't the victims here.
  But on second reading idk

“This is the lockpicking lawyer and what I have for you today is”

The really offensive part is having >2 liters of milk, per person, in a work fridge. What the fuck do you need so much for? I bet that fridge smells like a mix of spoiled milk and utter distrust for other human beings.
- udder distrust. it was right there
  
  Just because it’s there, doesn’t mean you have to milk the pun for all it’s worth.
  
  Sorry, I've been a vegan for long enough that I don't remember the names for all the animal bits, even in my native tongue let alone english :)
- It is British milk. Even as a Brit myself it astonishes me how much tea some people drink in a day. That shit must literally ooze from the pores of some people.
  
  Huh. Here in NZ tea, (instant) coffee, milk (and usually Milo as well) are virtually always provided by an employer (only by social convention, as far as I can tell, not a legal requirement). I kinda assumed Britain would be the same since we must have got the custom from somewhere.
  
  I used to drink ten to eleven cups of tea in the UK per day. I quit caffeine for a while because of the headaches. I somehow never put it together that this drug I keep putting into my system would affect my brain ...
  
  so I've had tea in Ireland and the UK, and my observation is that most people just use an ounce of milk for a cuppa, right?
  how much tea is this type of freak, that needs this much milk at work, drinking?
- This picture makes my tummy hurt just looking at it. I have a bit of lactose intolerance, but even with lactose free milk.....I couldn't imagine just pounding down a tall glass of milk.
  
  Try A2 milk. It's from cows that produce milk without a specific protein that tends to bother lactose intolerant people.
  Lactose free still bothers me to some degree, but A2 doesn't as much. The biggest issue it has is the sky high price.
  
  Now I want a tall glass of milk and there is none to have:(

Maybe they wouldn't have to do that if you'd stop stealing the milk, Brenda
- LOL, so I'm pretty sure her name really is Brenda. Years ago, we did a Pi(e) day thing. And one of the ladies, who complained to management about an optional employee lead event (myself and some other people just threw it together) where we offered food to people who didn't participate, went to the fridge and was overheard saying how her husband and kid would like the pie and just stole a whole goddamn pie as she left.

New interview question: "please show me the inside of the common refrigerator."
- Empty?

Stop stealing their stuff, scumbag.
- Exactly. This is a reaction to people being antisocial to begin with.
- No

Someone emptied my lunchbox and left it on the counter, i've had a padlock on it ever since.
- What’s the point though if it’s empty?
- You can buy bags with fake mold, but people will probably see it and throw your food in the trash, so I don't think it really helps.

My job has the opposite problem. We have four refrigerators full of food that no one wants to eat. People bring in homemade meals in glass containers that end up rotting and growing mold. Every so often someone gets the courage to clean all the refrigerators out, but it doesn't take long before they turn back into giant trash cans again.
- Where is your workplace and where are the security camera blindspots.
  
  Its in a hospital and as far as I am aware there's no cameras in the break room.

Why does one of the jugs have an infection warning on it? Are these bio samples at a lab and the locks are a safety measure?
- I worked at a hospital, and sometimes the Emergency Dept nurses would be cheeky and use the biohazard bags and stickers for their food items. nobody is going to eat my cookies if they have to blindly trust someone being a joker lol

I kind of do. One of the managers hides supplies we need because we "use too much of it" or something and it affects the budget. We need to ask her for the supplies if we need it. So, I just stopped doing the work that requires those supplies. Her precious budget is safe.
- This woman is a nightmare, her name is Susan, and Susan recently started swallowing the supplies and we have to wait for her to poop them out if we want to use them. And as if that wasn't bad enough she makes us talk her out for a walk whenever we want anything. Yesterday I took Susan for a walk and had to wait ten minutes for her to shit out a stapler.
- Totally agree. My guide is always if they don't care then I don't care. Want to make me jump through hoops to do my job. Fuck you.

How about fixing the problem by having the management provide free milk? It's about a pound a day for them and everyone is happier.
- Trent the milk guzzler arrives at 6 and drinks it all.
  Fuck you Trent!
- Then you run into the problem of people using excessive amounts of free milk leaving others without the chance to even get any. Better and safer to bring your own if you rely on it.
  
  The tragedy of the commons.
  
  It works here. Every morning they go round the fridges (it's a big place) and bung another 4 pints in if it's getting low. The only time it didn't work was after a long weekend, when the bottle looked too full to replace but it was starting to go manky because it had been sitting too long after it was opened. I just went to another fridge with good milk.

- Ass crack bandit!
  
  Troy Barnes: So please, approve the Dean's new security measure called "Troy's law.", because a camera in the bathroom...
  [He chokes up]
  Troy Barnes: is better than a quarter in your butt.
  Dean Pelton: As we've seen, the Ass Crack Bandit can be defeated by using the three "B"s: Belts, briefs, and buddies. Good. The bandit always gets his victims when they're alone. Bend over with friends over.

I work at a place that went from having bbq's and get togethers to... well, nothing in about five years. Yesterday we got a company wide e-mail to tell us the CEO is GTFO'ing and being replaced by an external hire. I'm not worried at all though. In fact, I'm kinda hoping to be fired for the severance. Fuck this job :D
- My story exactly. Company still has summer parties but they cut a lot of benefits, started firing people and the level of gaslighting went up dramatically. I was looking for something else but fortunately stayed long enough to get fired and cash out. Found new job in 1.5 months. I'm almost grateful to them for being such assholes.

I remember solving something similar using an opaque bottle with "GI supplements, don't drink" written in sharpie. Especially since the first time it was actually true and they didn't believe the warning.
- I used to live in a shared house and made some hot honey. Bunch of chillis chopped and simmered in honey.
  I found a tiny amount on a pizza was good to add a hint of sweet and made it pretty spicy. Can't imagine having it concentrated on toast goes down too well but that is what someone did when they stole it.
  
  Don't give me ideas... I love spicy stuff, and it has been a pretty good deterrent in of itself from having my foodstuffs stolen. So two birds with one stone...
  
  https://www.growforagecookferment.com/pepper-jelly/

Fr.
If you're gonna drink skim, save money and use water.
- Look here, we took this water, put it through the cows, now it's better!
  
  Ah, yes, the cow filter!
- It’s semi-skimmed and it’s the best milk.

Just leave a decoy bottle laced with large amounts of sleep medication and laxatives. Sit back. Watch the shitshow unfold.
- Lol a guy at a shop I worked at did this. He had already given his two weeks notice, but he got fired anyways. People were sooo pissed. Lol there weren't enough toilets for everyone who got it to use at once. I thought it was hilarious and well deserved, they actually gave me a talking to for laughing out loud about it.
- Question: I bring milk into the office laced with powerful psychedelics. It is clearly labeled with my name, saying “This is mine and for my consumption only. Do not drink”. Someone takes and drinks it.
  Is this illegal?
  
  In the USA, yes.
  
  Are psychedelics legal where you live?
- Tragedy at the container port as a box crane operator falls asleep, shits himself and drops a container of deel straight through the hull of the Ever Given. 8 million high-end graphics cards and playstations were destroyed by seawater.
- This reminds me for some reason about the time I found a half-full can of vintage rat poison at an antique store. It was basically entirely arsenic.

Turn it upside down and poke a hole in the bottom.
- This person is playing 3D chess over here.
- Put laxatives in your milk.

Just poke a hole in the side, steal what you need, and tape it shut.
- I don't even want to fuck with other people's food generally, but id do this.
- Yeah or use one of those drill-taps they use to tap maple syrup.

Yeah, people who drink milk at work are super weird
- It's pretty common to have milk in your tea
  
  Tea.
  
  Oh, yes! Iced milky tea is delicious, highly recommended of you like iced coffee.

Who can be bothered to steal someone else's semi-skimmed milk anyway‽ Full cream or bust.

Come in with some bolt cutters. Free the milk.
- Bolt cutters? My man, a simple box cutter will knock the top off those flimsy plastic shields.
  
  yeah but then you have plastic sawdust in your milk (lids do not exist)

The wasted space bothers me more. If I am bringing milk for my own coffee, I decant it into a small container. If bringing lunch that needs refrigerated, I take it out of the insulated lunch bag before putting it in the refrigerator! I see huge insulated lunch bags in there, are you literally insulating it against refrigeration, and do you need to take up a cubic foot for your sandwich and apple?

Couldn’t stand working with people who shop at Asda!

Just bring a empty jug and stab the bottom and enjoy your free milk buffet.

Yet another reason why I work remotely.

So glad I live 5 minutes from work and can go home for lunch. Mostly it's to see the dog but it's also nice not worrying about this crap.
I only ever use our group's mini fridge in our cubicle for a seltzer I drink at the end of the day. Even that is a chaotic fridge filled with rotting food and too many condiments and creamers. I just put a can in to cool in the morning and take it out to drink by the end of the day.
- What's up with people who leave stuff in there for weeks knowing that they are never going to eat it but are just too lazy to throw it out?

The blizzard offices were never the same.

It's crazy how many people have never been weaned
- Very weird comment, probably super weird person behind it
  
  It's just a joke about how weird human culture is. I wonder how you infer anything about me as a person because of one silly joke? Only super weird people can notice weird cultural things and make jokes about it? Genuinely curious about your reasoning here.
  To me its much weirder that it's normalized to drink baby milk from another species, to the point that it seems completely normal, but each to their own.
  
  Milk is weird. I don't think any other mammals drink it after childhood, or from other animals.
  
  It's a vegan thing in some circles
  "Yeah I bet you like your cow-titty juice, FREAKS" etc
  I think it's hilarious personally, but I always think calling people weird sickos for normal stuff is funny

About 9 calories difference.

My office just used to have milk delivered so everyone had it. The benefit of everyone there drinking tea!

Where is the barbed wire?

Why do they keep the glue in the fridge?

I bet each of those cheap ass locks could easily be shimmed open with a piece of a soda can in a few seconds. I would open each one and just leave it on the shelf next to each bottle. I don’t even drink milk. Just to let them know their obnoxious system is pointless
- Most locks are not designed to keep people out of something. They're to clearly state that they're not welcome.
  
  And my bike lock is hefty enough to double up as a makeshift warhammer.
- I'd love to be a fly on the wall when you had to go have a chat with HR about that
- Or just cut the plastic with scissors.