The Chad English Gammon:

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People really argue about which birds are the best birds, but everyone can agree that seagulls are the worst.
- Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs described them best. Rats with fucking wings.
- You talk like a man who's never been attacked by a wild turkey.
  
  I haven't. But also that line is from a song.
  
  Turkeys are stupid and angry. I think the only bird less intelligent than a turkey would be a guinea fowl, but they have the edge of just being suicidally dumb. I've had a Guinea run away from my car and then back in front of it in confusion, but never have I had one openly charge my vehicle. I've had a turkey do that, though.
- Wait. Are seagulls worse than black swans? Are they worse than Australian Magpies? I mean these surely got to be the top three worst birds, personally I'd prefer a seagull to a swan, but I've met enough magpie haters so I wouldn't be so sure everyone agrees
  
  Throw the Canadian Goose in that mix. That bird is simply evil.
  
  Never seen neither of those, but I've seen enough seagulls to not be sad if one day they all be deleted off this fucking planet
- They may be the worst, but someone who kills out of annoyance needs to be on a watchlist.
- For people not in the proximity of water it's pigeons. Fuck pigeons.
  
  I love pigeons. They're like rats with wings.
  
  Plus, it's kinda our fault that they're everywhere, since city pigeons are actually dometic animals that have gone feral
  
  Rats are way smarter than pigeons, pigeons are dumb skyrats.
  
  Fuck you bro team pidgeon over here
  
  Everything we complain about regarding pigeons are traits humans intentionally bred into them across millenia.
  Pigeons did not invade cities. We abandoned them there, after they helped us coordinate building and connecting them. And we inexplicably treat them like the invaders after abandoning them the second they were no longer deemed useful.
- I live by the bay of a freshwater lake with gulls so I call they baygulls
- I love seagulls

53 comments