I think there is merit in separating two things which are only related if they serve your point.
Look, I also read Shock Doctrine and watched Adam Curtis' recent footage of the fall of the USSR, I understand what russia has been through and how the US gloated about "winning" the Cold War. From there up until 2014 you have a lot of actors, from the IMF to the homegrown oligarchs living the ancap dream to Yeltsin destroying russian democracy in 93 (should any country have intervened then?) and other forces that shaped a path that was only shaped by the US with neglect, greed and giving bad examples, but the US is not russia's caretaker, nor should it have been.
From 2014 onwards and the annexation of Crimea, the West just upped their neglect to the maximum, kept western media quiet about Girkin's failed campaign in the Donbas (and let russian media have a party presenting its own views unopposed) and pretended that nothing was happening because we were busy with other things and really didn't want to get into a fight with russia. And since it was just a hybrid war, we mostly told Ukraine to STFU, like we did Transnistria and Georgia. Meh, "it's the russian sphere of influence", "Crimea used to be part of russia", maybe if they have this and we deepen our economic connections, they'll stop and be brought to reason, let's keep Ukraine neutral, maybe that will work...
After Feb 2022 there was no margin of doubt that russia would only stop claiming more territory if it was forced to stop by force and the sooner the better. Anybody who hasn't changed their mind about russia's intentions after seeing russia attempt to storm Kiev is never going to change their POV on this. After that, russia's word lost all crediblity, so there was a mask-off moment and all of putin's speeches just sounded like "Bin Laden" with nukes to me, but maybe you like his batshit hypocritical critique of "satanist" american imperialism.
I have no idea what the basis for negotiation with russia is going to be now, because it can not end this war feeling that this brazen aggression was worth it, since they will come back to finish the job when they are better prepared (russia is great at glorifying the sacrifice of its people for bits of land in history books as an example for the future generations) nor can it accept that it already wasn't worth it, because they imagine that after what they did, defeat means more 90s hardship for them, so here we are 💀