How do you feel ?

I failed college, which lead to me losing my job. I also lost my car. To top it all off, my girlfriend of 3 years left me while we were 10,000km away from home. Every single thing reminds me of her. I haven't had the strength to shower in a week. I wish I had a car so i can drive into a concrete block at 200km/h and obliterate my worthless body. I love her so much.