Why is waking up when my alarm goes off so difficult and unpleasant yet "sleeping in" doesn't feel good and isn't satisfying?
It's like can't win. Its been like this my entire life. I currently have don't have problems getting to sleep but it's waking up that's bullshit.
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A complete REM cycle is usually around 90mins, and it takes about 30mins to start falling asleep deeply. For me personally, 7.5hrs is the perfect amount of sleep, which equates to 5 REM cycles.
Now, if you wake up in the middle of a cycle, you will usually feel groggy as your brain gets to grip with reality. Therefore, you want to aim to wake up just at the end of a cycle, ideally.
Try sleeping without an alarm, and make note of when you went to bed, and when you woke up. Hopefully, that time should be roughly divisible by 90mins, assuming nothing woke you up.
Knowing the above info, you can time your sleep better to ensure you don't set an alarm for mid-cycle. As the other commenter mentioned, there are also apps & devices that can help detect when you're coming out of REM and time the alarm based on that.
Lastly, if you do snooze after waking up, try "snoozing" for a full REM cycle (90mins), or try a power nap (<25mins). That might help "catch up" on sleep after you wake up.
I used to purposefully set my alarm 90mins before my actual wake up time, and then "snooze" for 90. That was mainly to induce lucid dreams though.
+1 for sleeping without an alarm. If you really need an alarm to get up every day, you might not be getting enough sleep to begin with. Some of that is unavoidable (noises, light waking you up at night etc.) but a lot of people think they can get by with like 6 hours or less of sleep and just get by on extra coffee.
Taking a week or so to just let your body wake up when it wants (even if it means going to bed early, ugh) will help you figure out how much sleep you need.
Added to that, some smart devices try to measure your exact sleep cycle and wake you at the right time. Phones yrying to do that using microphone or accelerometer to measure sounds or vibrations are notoriously bad at it, some watches with more sophisticated sensors might have better results, but I don't have personal experience with that.
+1 on determining (and understanding) sleep cycles. And +1 on naps. I consider myself really good at napping. Somewhere I read NASA determined 26 minutes being the best nap amount, so I have a 28 minute timer because I can usually fall asleep within 5 minutes.
Routines before sleeping can help your brain fall asleep faster. I beleive that's a key to my nap ability because it usually works even if I don't think I'm sleepy. I have 1 hour for lunch at work, so if I bring food, I can nap in my car. I used to park facing uphill and east at one job to get extra recline and keep the afternoon sun off me, but my current lot is flat and I got a sleep mask. I play a specific artist (Deadmau5) on a low volume. I have used construction ear muffs as extra sound dampening.
I learned of a mental game that does an amazing job of getting my thoughts to calm down. Pick a category, then run through the alphabet to name something for each letter. Apple, banana, cranberry, etc. If you can't think of something, skip the letter and come back. I basically never make it to the end unless I'm really upset about something. And, not gonna lie, the most effective category for me is sex/porn categories. Nothing is more focused than a horny brain.