Why your rich friend Venmo requests you for $4: People with more money 'struggle with generosity,' expert says
The phenomenon of the rich friend being the stingiest rings true, says Susan Bradley, founder of the Sudden Money Institute.
You're viewing part of a thread.
When did I say anything about hanging out? What are you talking about?
You answered the question indirectly. Or intentionally avoided it because you don't want to admit some inconsistency. I figured the former, but maybe I was wrong. So which is it?
I did no such thing. If someone can ask for money remotely, they can ask for help remotely. If they can't ask me for help, and they are rich, and they ask me for money, we obviously are not very good friends, because they clearly don't trust me enough to just ask me for help.
So what about the depressed friend who flakes on hanging out? If they can cancel remotely, they can also ask for help remotely. I don't get why this analogy is just being ignored.
If I think a friend my be suffering I reach out to them to see if they want to talk. I make myself available. I make sure they realize they aren't alone. You think this makes them a bad friend for not asking for your help.
I don't know why you keep bringing up hanging out as if it's relevant.
If a rich person asked me for money, I wouldn't think they were suffering. I have no idea why you think I would believe someone doing that was suffering rather than being insufferable. Because this article says so?
Anyone who is actually my friend knows that the way to get me to help them is to ask me because it's something I make clear all the time.
You're basically telling me I wouldn't be friends with someone I wouldn't be friends with. This is true.
I don’t know why you keep bringing up hanging out as if it’s relevant.
It's entirely relevant because it's the same thing: someone struggling with emotional or mental health acting poorly rather than directly asking for help.
If a rich person asked me for money, I wouldn’t think they were suffering. I have no idea why you think I would believe someone doing that was suffering rather than being insufferable. Because this article says so?
Well, not because the article says so, but because someone who works closely with these people is reporting on why they act that way. What do you expect me to do, take your unsubstantiated opinion above it?
It seems to me this is more about dehumanizing rich people to justify hatred, rather than being honest about the fact that they are human too and might just be suffering when they do something like this.
If someone needs my help and is hanging out with me and doesn't ask me for help, how am I supposed to know?
It seems to me this is more about dehumanizing rich people to justify hatred
OH NO!
Poor rich people! They have it so hard!
If someone needs my help and is hanging out with me and doesn’t ask me for help, how am I supposed to know?
That's the whole point. You aren't. You've just been alerted to this asocial behavior being a sign of someone suffering, so you ask. You just want to assume they are a bad person not worthy of friendship.
Poor rich people! They have it so hard!
Do you honestly need it to be explained that rich people can suffer from mental and emotional problems as well? Taking that away from them is just blatant dehumanization.
Well, if they don't pay attention to me saying "let me know if you need any help," then, again, they're not a very good friend. I can't help it if they don't care enough about what I've told them to just ask me for help. If they asked me for money, again, I wouldn't think "they need help." I get that you would, but I wouldn't.
And sure, rich people can suffer from mental and emotional problems. They also can afford a therapist.
I'm not sure what to say, it's been pointed out that this is kind of like a cry for help, and you still insist on holding it against them. I guess we're still squarely in the time if people seeing mental health issues as personality flaws.
So I go out with a rich friend and they want to stop and get a drink in a bar they like the look of, they buy us each a pint and it costs $14. Later I have to send them seven dollars which means I have to cut down on my food shopping and worry about spending, maybe I have to cancel going out with another friend.
They don't care about this and nor do you, the only thing that matters is the rich person might feel anxious about their social status? That's total bullshit, don't you think I'd feel shitty sitting there not drinking with them or ruining their evening by declining the suggestion to stop for a drink like I would alone? When do my social fears matter in this equation? Oh of course, never because it was written by some affluent fuckwit trying to justify the fact all their old friends find them insufferable.
'They don't care about the 4 dollars' quote actually translates to 'they don't care about you as a person or any difficulties you might go through in a practical sense because a lingering self-doubt that everyone has regardless of the situation trumps all'
Everyone worries that their friends don't really like them, it's part of being human. Pushing that onto your friend as a practical problem when they already have the many emotional, psychological, and practical worries associated with the situation is a selfish dick move.