So your stance is essentially: "queerphobic culture exists therefore queer people should hide to be safe"?
Rather than question the legitimacy or merits of transphobia and fascism, you are placing the burden on the marginalized members to hide and just accept the unjust status quo. Just because something is the status quo does not make it right and it doesn't make it immutable.
No one is arguing about the existence of consequences. The consequences of hate are painfully clear to everyone. We are saying instead that there ought not to be deadly consequences for being different. It's unjust.
By your logic, African Americans should have just stayed in the back of the bus and in separate facilities. After all, they got sprayed with firehouses and killed for seeking equal treatment. Consequences amiright? Similarly, American colonists should have just bent the knee because England sent literal armies when they dared to declare independence. Oh well, they should have been aware of the consequences.
Transphobia and fascism isn't natural law. It can and should be fought. "Aw man that's just the way it is" is apologetic and defeatist at best.