1y ago

I know it's one of you guys

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I know it's a joke but if this was a man posting a dildo with the same text he'd get flamed
- If it was a bar of soap moulded into a cock though we'd probably be seeing a pretty similar post
  
  Rubbing soap on your dick is safe though.
  Sticking soap up your snizz is how you get an infection.
  
  Rubbing soap on any part of your body in a way that simulates sex is not "safe".... Especially if that area is your junk.
  Edit: when you make a comment of which you can speak on with authority and then a bunch downvotes come because it offended someone's hypothetical ideal. You guys are worse than /r/the_donald.
  
  Because of Satan?
  
  If you had to ask Satan's already won.
  
  I love Santa too
  
  I don't see how masturbating with soap has any increased risk of soap in the urethra than normal washing. Especially when you wash yourself everyday. It would also matter on how often you do it. If you're jerking it with soap every time you jerk it yeah you increase the likelihood but if it's a once in a while thing it would be a negligible increase in odds.
  I can't believe I just put that much thought into jerking it with soap.
  
  Men have a similar, although not as sensitive, environment under their foreskin as women do, so it's not just the urethra that is the issue. That being said, the consequences of that are usually limited to itchiness and a smell, and not a full-blown infection.
  
  Yeah, I call bullshit on this. Not washing under your foreskin is how you get an infection, not washing there too much.
  
  You should wash under there with lukewarm water or, if you absolutely feel the need to, gentle soap that is specifically made for cleaning your privates. Doing it with regular soap can cause issues.
  Source: Have foreskin, washed with soap, talked with doctor.
  
  Soap bad, water only
  
  It would be pretty impressive, though.
  
  Dildo shampoo bottles are relatively commonplace though.
- Idk man, fucking a bar of soap, clearly on the reg , and leaving it for the world to see is a bit different. Plus I feel like most dildo users have the presence of mind to put that shit up when they're done.
  
  My ex would disagree as she'd leave hers lying out even when we had company over.
  We were both also very mental unwell so that could be a part of it
  
  That was made that way for the joke. How would you even begin fucking a flat bar of soap? Even pre-drilled, it would wear out too fast to be any fun.
  Don't use conditioner guys!!!
  For the 4th time (I'm an idiot) I got serious dick issues. Don't know if it dries the skin out or what, but the end gets hypersensitive, turns dark red, skin turns black and peels off, hurts like hell, and then you get nice, new pink skin. It's painful and revolting and takes about a week for the whole process.
  Thought was just me until I saw a reddit post a few months back. LOTS of dudes experiencing the same exact thing.
  Don't use conditioner guys!!!
  
  What in the bed bath and beyond is this shit
  
  Would you mind choosing a verb other than "use" so I know what in God's name I shouldn't be doing with conditioner?
  
  If the context didn't provide, I meant jacking off. Paddling the pink canoe. Abusing the wicked stick. Battling the purple-headed yogurt slinger. Shaking hands with the milkman. Boxing the one-eyed champ. Taking the self-guided tour.
  
  Seeing to yourself? Tossing your salad? Clearing the pipes? Sopping your tissues? Summoning Spiderman? Switching to manual? Burping the serpent? Don't know it.
  
  "Switching to manual". I'm stealing that. You can't stop me.
  "Switch SCE to AUX". You can steal that one!
  
  Very kind!
  
  Are you sure that's conditioner and not bleach?
  
  Even if you accidentally use conditioner instead of lube, there's no way it will make the skin of your dick turn black and fall off. It'll irritate your skin sure, but that won't happen.
  One of two things must actually actually be happening...
  You're using the conditioner lube to fuck something like sandpaper or a sex toy that is literally set on fire
  You've confused conditioner with something like lye or hydrochloric acid
  For the love of Christ, get your shit checked out
  
  This is disturbingly specific 😰
  
  Want a pic? It's at the blackened and peeling stage. Shower water hit it tonight and I yelped. Brand new skin in just a few more days!
  
  How many times have you repeated this process? Why was one flayed dick not enough?
  
  This is the kind of wholesome informative content I come to Lemmy for. Thank you for your service, sir!
  Actually, wait, I have a question. How did your ball-hair feel aftwards? Did it help with testicular split ends?
  
  Ball hair is mostly nonexistent. But here come more conditioner tips!
  Decided to get nice and clean for my ex-wife. Showered and used a little conditioner on the meat puppet. She stuck it in her mouth and made a face. "Tastes like shampoo!"
  That woman could pop the balloon on the sexiest of times. Ever had a lover so tacky as to complain, in the moment?! Not like, "Move a little.", or "Ouch, not like that." More like... Know what? Not gonna relive that foul woman.
  
  When my sister and I lived with my parents our shower broke for a bit so we had to use my parents' shower for a few days. Guess who forgot to take their dildo out of there.... It was my sister not me but lucky for her and unlucky for me, my parents never clarified so they'll just think what they will.
- If this were a woman posting a dildo she’d get flamed. Use sex toys all you want, but don’t fuck soap, it’s ironically unsanitary
  
  I've covered that aspect already in other comment chains.
  Also this picture is clearly a joke. You wouldn't be able to actually use that to masturbate as the hole would grow rapidly. You'd have to lather your hands first using either bar or liquid soap.
  Yeah jamming your dick into a solid bar of soap is gonna cause a lot of issues. The one I'd imagine being the first to worry about is your dick getting bruised cause bar soap ain't exactly soft
  
  What if you make the hole and then soapy fidget spinner?
  
  Now we're getting somewhere.
  
  And that's how hula hoops are made!
  🤮
  
  You wouldn’t be able to actually use that to masturbate as the hole would grow rapidly
  So, you're telling me the soap owner is a quickshot with a small dick
- A shower dildo left there to be found? No.. that'd be fuckin weird too
- If it was a dildo sculpted out of soap, we'd have the exact same replies as here.

110 comments