chaotic evil is for me

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Breadboxes are bullshit and you know it
- They just make me forget about the bread.
  
  Sounds like an scp report.
  
  Someone call the memetics department. About what, I forget...
  
  That must be a simultaneously fascinating and terrible job. Much like a normal SCP operative but worse and more boring.
  "So you contacted us on Nov 18th about a problem."
  "Did I? What was it?"
  "We don't know."
  "So what do we do now."
  "First, I'm interviewing you about the thing."
  "Thing?"
  "Yes, the thing."
  "What thing?"
  "The thing you can't seem to remember."
  "Wait, hang on, I'm so confused, what are you here about?"
  "So... you contacted us on Nov 18th about a problem..."
  "Did I? What was it?"
  "[sigh] Hi, I'm from the Memetics Department. I'm going to perform a routine inspection. I hope you don't mind if I search through everything?"
  
  What bread? What are we talking about again?
  
  Idk man I think I have to buy one.
  
  Free penicilin.
  
  Sometimes my mind needs a break.
- You put the bread in the box, while using one of the other methods.
  The box is there to look pretty.
  
  The only thing a breadbox has done for me is give me molded bread the next day. Every time.
  
  You might want to consider cleaning your moldy box...
  
  The last one was new and I bleached it out before using it, still happened. The bread was also new.
  
  Bread don't last long. In to the fridge it goes.
- Do people still use these? I haven't seen one since my great aunt's house in the early '90s, and I'm certain it was never used for bread. Still remember the smell of that kitchen. Picked up the early, mineral tones of her weird, dank basement. God damn, I played a lot of Megaman 2 in that basement.
- My gram used to put the bread and crisps in the oven when the oven wasn't being used :)
  
  We used to do that in my old tiny apartment until one of us forgot and turned the oven on.
  
  Made some toast without knowing.

249 comments