Shabana Mahmood puts the signs up: Britain is full. No blacks, no dogs, no Irish

unexposedhazard @discuss.tchncs.de 3d ago
I was really confused until i understood that this is a satire comedy story.
- mannycalavera @feddit.uk 3d ago
  This is the guardian. They're deadly serious.
  
  pimento64 @sopuli.xyz 3d ago
  🫵 DIDN'T READ THE ARTICLE
  
  unexposedhazard @discuss.tchncs.de 3d ago
  
  No i mean it literally is a stage play script satirizing Shabana Mahmood. Some of my favorite sections:
  Shabana Mahmood had been dozing in bed when Shabana Mahmood had burst into her room and pulled back the duvet. Shabana forced her eyes open, trying to make sense of this unexpected intrusion. She reached for her phone. Where was her security detail? Surely this must be a mistake.
  “I need to call Keir Starmer,” Shabana sobbed. “He will vouch for me. There must have been some mistake.”
  “No mistake,” Shabana snarled. “And don’t go bleating to Keir. He’s the one who signed off on all this.
  “Can’t you just give me a few more days? Why don’t you go and deport David Lammy first? I can give you his address.”
  “This can’t be right. I couldn’t be more British if I tried. I’ve integrated so well I’ve even become home secretary. I’m a Labour politician whom Reform are happy to call one of their own. I have a couple of Union Jacks to drape myself in when I appear on GB News. I’ll even sign something to say I hate immigrants.”
  “Not good enough, I’m afraid,” said Shabana. “The thing is you still look foreign. So pack up your things. On second thoughts, don’t bother. Because we’re going to take all your possessions anyway. Everything from your phone, your jewellery to your house. Just so no one comes over here with the idea that they can come over here, contribute and make a life for themselves.”
  Fresh from deporting herself, Shabana appeared in the Commons late on Monday afternoon to give an update on her asylum and deportation policy. The system was broken, she said. There were dark forces at work. Somehow she made this sound as if she thought this was a good thing.
ShaggySnacks @lemmy.myserv.one 2d ago
The Uk and the US speed running to be the worse any%.
- WALLACE @feddit.uk 16h ago
  There's a world of difference between a country abducting brown people off the streets and a country just not wanting to pay to endlessly fill hotels full of anyone who shows up on its borders
lordnikon @lemmy.world 2d ago
No Irish wouldn't that violate the 1953 CTA agreement?
Darkness343 @lemmy.world 2d ago
Savannah Mammoth
- 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 @pawb.social 1d ago
  
  Shabanal Manhood
ikt @aussie.zone 3d ago
We had always given sanctuary to those who needed it, she said, only now we would kick them out as soon as possible
Yes it's a lot easier to donate to charities when you're not poor yourself
- Zombie @feddit.uk 3d ago
  How exactly is Britain poor?
  Public services may be poor, due to 15 years of austerity, but the country as a whole is not. It's just concentrated in the hands of a very wealthy few who are so greedy and antisocial that they'd rather we all starve than they give up even a tiny percentage of their wealth.
  
  ikt @aussie.zone 3d ago
  
  Public services may be poor
  People are also poor
  Why poverty in the UK now is worse than 50 years ago and its grip is tightening every day
  https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/poverty-child-benefit-cap-labour-uk-b2806175.html
  Worse than Rwanda: life prospects in Britain’s poorest areas
  https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/11452079/Worse-than-Rwanda-life-prospects-in-Britains-poorest-areas.html

Shabana Mahmood puts the signs up: Britain is full. No blacks, no dogs, no Irish

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