Skip Navigation
Remote View
chat @hexbear.net
the_itsb [she/her, comrade/them] @hexbear.net

I desperately need your distraction

What're you into, what're you looking forward to, what're you happy about?

Please

I am feeling terribly self-harmy in advance of my birthday next week

I got to the point of making a pros and cons chart

give me something to be vicariously happy about or something to look forward to, please

You're viewing a single thread.

128 comments

  • @FourteenEyes@hexbear.net please come tell me your relationship is going swimmingly

    @FearsomeJoeandmac@hexbear.net please tell me about the trash you're eating this evening or ask me a ridiculous question

    @ashinadash@hexbear.net & @magi@hexbear.net please tell me something cute about your relationship

    @Dirt_Owl@hexbear.net please tell me anything, everything you post is great

    @ReadFanon@hexbear.net please lecture me about how there's better ways to deal with this or literally anything, I am delighted by your discourse on everything

    @HarryLime@hexbear.net please tell me some wolf facts or something

    I'm too tapped to continue this roll call, which could definitely go on forever

    • Hi!! We just spent an hour rearranging our bedroom hifi and sweating it out together

      More generally I like that we discovered together that we have autism, because I ended up lookin into it and self-dx'ing and then she did too, which was rad. I also really appreciate that she and I are of different generations, so we often have different, complimentary views and experiences

      Also she introduced me to hexbear. Wifey is much better at technology than I am tbh

    • Pulled up to taco bell just in time apparently. I'm getting one of those cheese it crunch wrap supremes.

      What's up?

    • did you know that emus hop around and get zoomies when they're excited? (Eggcited?)

    • I like thinking about my birthdays as being anniversaries of my survival. I'm not sure if it's going to be suitable for your situation but for me instead of thinking back to my childhood or my shitty family, I like framing it as being a yearly marker where I've succeeded despite the odds.

      This feels safer and more comfortable for me because it allows me to acknowledge hardships that I've faced and I don't feel compelled to feel enthusiastic or to celebrate things that don't really resonate with me. I can be like "Fuck yeah, I worked hard at this and I made it through another one". This also has the upshot of taking the pressure off of me from feeling the pressure to celebrate it with others because my survival is a very personal affair and I wouldn't feel inclined inclined to invite other people to join in this because it's not about them and it's not for them. Although this also allows room for change too because I am able to welcome people into this experience of celebrating my survival, if I choose to.

      There are things to hold out for. The world is changing very rapidly these days and the advances in medicine are pretty astonishing. I completely understand what it's like to question whether it's worth continuing on if things are going to remain as they are right now but try to allow space for the fact that choosing to continue means that you are allowing for the opportunity for things to improve, and that's truly invaluable. I know that it it probably doesn't feel like it's true but I genuinely mean it when I say that it is.

      I also want to mention that a typical person tends to underestimate themselves. A person who struggles with serious challenges in their lives and especially in their mental health tends to underestimate themselves even more. You are stronger, more intelligent, more valued, and more resourceful than that part of you which wants to convince you otherwise.

      In other news, a little while back I made a post about how anticapitalist and socialist discourse has become super normalised in the media and I keep on coming across random, basically apolitical content where people shit on capitalism openly and directly. I've even seen the milquetoast progressive-ish left which is very hostile to radical politics engaging with concepts and symbolism of the radical left and I think that's because they do not feel comfortable in ignoring it any longer. The anti-landlord discourse has also kicked up massively in the past couple of years especially, at least in my corner of media consumption and it has already become completely normalised. People who aren't diehard communists will do things like mention Mao in comments sections when landlords get discussed lol. I used to feel like the fringe lunatic ranting and raving about radical stuff in most mainstream corners of social media. These days I routinely come across ideas and comments where I simply agree with no notes to add and often there will be comments that surprise me in how openly radical they are.

      Also I'm putting a freshwater shrimp tank together for the first time in my life. It's been a bit delayed due to a period of worsened mental health for me and being broke/putting too much money towards causes but soon enough I'm going to have an aquarium for the first time in my life and I'll have some little critters doing their thing in the tank. Not that exact type of shrimp but something similar. I'm looking forward to trying my hand at doing some aquascaping and seeing how I go with setting up the aquarium, and I'm excited share some pics of what I put together. I hope I'll be able to show you the completed project sometime soon.

      Anyway, I hope that things go smoothly for you. Of course in the long term but especially in the next week or so.

      • As much as I can love a person I've only interacted with on an Internet forum, I love you. I don't even know what else to say right now in reply to this - I'll read it again in the morning and maybe be able to be more cogent and say something better - but this was everything I wanted in a response when I made this post, and I just don't even have the words to express how much it means to me that you were able to give me the thing I needed but couldn't perfectly articulate a request for. I have needed someone to do that my whole life.

        😭❤️

        "thank you" doesn't even begin to cover it

        • I'm so glad that my comment was what you needed. I was trying to muster something good and I wasn't sure if it was going to hit the mark for you so it's nice to get the positive feedback.

          I hope you're doing well and that things have been going more smoothly than you predicted. I really appreciate the contributions you make to this site and the culture here, it makes it a welcoming place even for oddball characters like me who never feel at home anywhere.

          • It was a much better week than I expected, and I have been wanting to make a post telling everyone and thanking you all, but I wanted to wait for this weekend to try to keep the actual date slightly fuzzier.

            A major contributor to things being better was feeling so supported by the kindness of the community here and distracted with all the various topics and interests everyone had. I appreciate you all very, very much. ❤️

            oddball characters like me who never feel at home anywhere

            Reading this genuinely hurts my heart. You are one of the coolest people I've ever met, online or off. You're famous even to my husband, who is not on Hexbear but cheerfully suffers my enthusiasm for the site. I link him to your comments regularly, and I literally refer to you as "the best Hexbear" to help him remember which person you are whenever I talk about you (which happens fairly often).

            In addition to sharing everything I learn from you with my husband directly (and teenage son in an overview/notes form that he's more likely to take in 🙄😂), I sent your comment about what to know when starting ADHD medication to a recently diagnosed friend who was very impressed and grateful. You are positively changing the lives of people you will never directly interact with.

            Honestly, considering all of that, I feel like a real asshole for thinking about doing anything that would interfere with my ability to bring your wisdom to the people I know.

            I don't want to be weird gushing over it too much – I know sometimes my enthusiasm for particular people comes across as creepy – but I could easily write a dozen paragraphs about the positive impact you've had on the lives of people here and elsewhere. Please let me know if a little (or big!! 😂) essay on how great you are would be at all helpful to you, it would be my absolute pleasure to write it.

            It makes me feel really good to know that you appreciate my contributions here, too; it means a lot, especially coming from you. Thank you very much.

      • I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:

    • It is. We're taking the hiccups in stride and trying hard to communicate with each other. I bought her a silver coin pendant which has the vegvisir on one side and aegishjalmur on the other, and plan on giving it to her when we go to the renn faire in a few weeks. The more we learn about each other the more we like each other. She has me watching romcom animes (ToraDora right now) and I've been inflicting my weird gamer youtubers on her like Ross Scott and Civvie11. We like each other a lot, and even told each other "I love you" for the first time recently in the nerdiest way possible: referencing the "would you love me if I was a worm" meme in relation to Dune.

      I really love her. I'm glad we met.

      • idk how to tell you how much I love this. I think the world of you, and I am so fucking beyond ecstatic to see you getting the love you deserve. I am so glad you met, too ❤️I'm so happy for you!

        thank you very much for sharing this beautiful brightness with me ❤️

    • I don't have wolf facts but I have these

128 comments