2d ago

What If

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While in theory this is a good idea, I have first-hand experience with people grouping together and accusing me of doing things with another (at the time) underage individual, trying to get me kicked out of school/smear my name/see me imprisoned/etc...
The issue? The other underage individual they said I was doing things with, was female. Me, I'm gay as fuck. Which was made pretty obvious during questioning. Also upon examination with the other individual being tested and questioned separately... Suprise, they found that, indeed, both testing and questioning showed the accused activities were completely unfounded. All parties that made these false claims admitted that they were falsified shortly thereafter. I could have sued them, and their families (since they too were underage) - this could have actually ruined my life, these things should be punished, these traumas compensated - but I decided against it, just wanting the situation to go away. It was an awful experience, and I still have trust issues; one of the accusers was friends with me. At least, so I thought.
Now, that's not to say 'oh they are lying' in this case, but you can't just blanket believe either side. You need facts, proof, evidence. Imagine if I were to make these claims about you - suddenly you are interested in evidence and due process.
(I won't be replying to any replies to this comment - don't want to tear open that scar any more than I already have writing this)
- You're situation, while tragic, has nothing to do with his. He has been found guilty of assault in court. He has paid hush money and come to settlements. He has had his due process and now is sitting in the highest seat possible and no one is safe.
  
  The original pic uses non-specific language. If you find people responding as if it's a generalization, that's because it is.
  
  The thing is, though, that whilst false reports do happen – and I’m in no way trying to downplay the tragedy and horrific consequences for victims of that, such as in the case of this thread’s OP – that’s far rarer than the much more common case of women being ignored, put off, and scoffed at when they try to report actual sex crimes.
  I was groomed as a child and nobody would listen to me. Then I was kidnapped and raped for months – when I finally escaped and found the police, I was sent to a juvenile detention centre for being delinquent. Finally, after much therapy as an adult, I again tried to report my crime, and the first officer basically said I was wasting their time, and implied it was my fault.(e: I do have an open case now with a sergeant who takes me seriously, but that took some climbing of the hierarchy to find.)
  This is extremely common, and part of why many, many women don’t even bother to report these crimes.
  The ‘believe women’ thing is because of this, and reacting to such stories with ‘well actually I knew a woman who made up charges’, whilst true and horrible, feeds those who want to believe women are likely to make this shit up when it’s so common that 1 in 6 women will experience assault, and many are afraid to report it. That can be generalised, because it’s shockingly common.
  e: people make up and falsely report all sorts of crimes – burglary is a big one. Lots of people make up burglaries when they’re in dire straits and realise they can get more for insurance than selling their things. Or arson. But when someone reports a burglary or arson, you don’t see others jumping in to say ‘well actually, my ex said I burgled her for insurance purposes.’ That absolutely happens, but it’s uncommon and irrelevant to burglary victims’ crimes. We all can see that has nothing at all to do with real burglaries. That’s a whole different crime.
  Sorry, /rant, but this is personal to me.
  e2: I was on a fast track for uni at a very young age, and this derailed my entire life. It wasn’t a brief but terrible thing; it ruined my whole future before I was 15. So I’m sorry for having a bit less empathy about this. Instead, my trajectory was bowling alley janitor to ‘accountant’, to short-order cook, to telemarketer, to delivery driver, to cook, to restaurant manager, to erotic dancer (no sex), to residential property manager, to cashier (retail), to assistant manager, to manager, to designer (I’d been learning design and development in my free time in the mid 90s), to teacher (of programming to state workers), to programmer, to dba, to project manager – then back to designer so I could really learn and do it. That was my last job.
  
  Indeed the Republicans should not have supported such an individual, nor people should have voted for him, but it's a quite different story.
  
  It's even easier to lie and blame a previously convicted person
- While I feel sorry for your experience, rape can ruin a life just as much and happens more often (and unpunished) than false accusations. They actually took you serious and made sure to do the proper interogations to find out people were lying. We are just asking they do the same for women who are raped.

133 comments