I feel really awful, I see all these girls who look really fem at like 6 months hrt I'm nearly a year and 6 months. Is it my fault?

Don't worry mate, everyone has different hormone levels and needs. Maybe you were naturally higher test than some. Maybe your height and weight means you need longer to adjust. Maybe you started at a different age and have to fight off more initial changes.Most likely, you just have body dysmorphia that's not allowing you to see the changes. If it's what you really want, just keep at it. Others will notice the changes before you do.