Alternative to Discord ?

Hi everyone,

I just had my account deactivated from Discord for ToS violation (I didn't do anything wrong, I just tried to send a friend request), but that's not the most important thing.

Now that I no longer have an account, and I've been wanting to leave Discord for a while for a better, self-hosted, open-source alternative, this is the best time.

I know of Matrix, XMPP servers and applications that work very well, but none of them work in the same way, or have the same feel as Discord. I see more alternatives for professional use than for gamers or communities.

Revolt exists, but last time I checked, you can't really host it yourself, and I haven't read good things about it. (I don't remember the website listing all the negative aspects.)

That brings me to my two questions.

1. Can you list some alternative to Discord that I probably don't know ?
2. If you want a alternative to Discord, what are your requirements to using it ? I'm not saying I can or will, but I think I can try to create one.

PS: I already trying to get my account back (but I have the same response from the support and I can't send request to "Appeals & Age Update Requests" because of ToS violation) and even if I manage to get it back I really want to leave discord right now.