I see your point of view, and you need to see theirs if you want.
They simply do no know anything other than what they are told by Putin and the rest of his regime. For example, I have seen interviews with random Russians that have no idea why Moscow has been targeted by drone attacks. If you look at it from that perspective, of course the average person wants revenge against Ukraine.
Now, you have the other side of that. You have the people in Russia that do know what is going on with the war, but still believe their local propaganda. Even the propagandists believe their own rhetoric, unfortunately. (I have had conversations with reporters from RT that truly believe that Russian media is the most free media in the world. They themselves don't know any different.)
Don't misunderstand me! You have every right to be pissed off at their entire system and the people who "voted" for it. I am pissed off as well. Their entire system needs to be shaken to its core and their people need to wake up and realize they are the aggressors. To your point, they do actually believe they are the victims and that the west is holding them down. (Putin cries about this in every speech, btw.)