3w ago

Stop asking the internet for permission. You're an adult.

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Advice I've given my wife and my kids. Never make plans with anyone to do anything that you aren't happy to do alone.
Dinner? I'll eat alone
Movie? I'll watch it alone
Wife isn't in the mood? I'll just lay in bed and beat it next to her.
Hiking trip? Alone in nature is great.
Worst case scenario you still get to go have fun. Middle case, next time that person asks about doing something you get to remind them about all the fun you had without them.
- One of these things is not like the others
  
  Yeah, hiking is the only one done out in nature.
  
  But is it?
  
  Secluded nature wank
  
  Is the secluded bit a requirement????
  
  For me it's a preference.
  
  When you nature wank alone, you wank with Hitler.
- Some hikes shouldn't be done alone.
  Also this seems like it's gearing you towards selfish thinking which can set you up to be more isolated and lonely as a person.
  I gear towards joining in things that others I like the company of want to do. I get to hang out with them while doing some activity, and they get to enjoy that activity. Of course, if I'm going to invite someone to something, it's most often going to be something I can enjoy myself. If it requires others I just check with my friends on who's interested and do followups with them to reduce barriers and increase their chances of making it.
  
  That sounds like gearing yourself towards needing the validation of others to enjoy anything.
  I'm not saying always do things alone, I'm saying make plans with the knowledge that the other participants might not show up. I'm not going to plan something that is reliant on others to happen, others could be there or might not, I'll still go on the activity
  
  So you never make plans you aren't happy to do alone just to make your loved one's day? Like I'm not crazy about X band, but my husband loves them, so getting tickets and taking him is something I do for him. But I'd never go to that alone.

101 comments