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I'm ready to wake up from this fever dream and return to 2014 or whenever it really is. How are all you figments doing?
P̵̨̲̪̹̫̯͑̈͗ͅl̶̹͍͍̃̾̊̅̓͝e̷͖̰̙͍̺͍̭͈̘͠ḁ̵̧̛̲̩̱̭͍̯͚̐̈̄̏͆͑͑͐͗͘͝s̸͖̼̈̀͜ͅë̴̡̢͉̺̹͉̌̅̐͗͐̄̈́̆ ̵̲̥̯̬͔̙̹͐́͆̋̈́͂̃̈̓̇͠͝ẁ̶͙̩̝̤̼̜̠͓̥̆̂̊͛̃̒͐̌̓̔̚̚ą̴̌̇̾̇̂̎ķ̵̥̼̦̣̬̀̒͛̉̂̓͗̉̀̎̈́̽̕e̶̪̅͊̉ ̴̧̛̝͔̺͍͔̱̘͖̼̥̳̾̎̂̆̈́̚͝ų̴̧̰̩̰̳̣̤̈́̈̍̃͐̊̈̒̋̚͜͝p̶̧͇͔̝̗̤̟̪̫̍̉͐͒͛̋̈̊͘̕͜͝,̵̢̢̡̩͇͉̥̱͈̬͉̖̻̈́ ̵̨̛̍̿͑͑͆̓́w̶̢͕̼̙̻̤͍̖͊̒ë̴̡͍͎̝͓͎̠̫̹̺̓̉͒̑̌͝ ̸̢̮̝̗̼̬͖̬̈͗̾͆̑̈́͗͘͝ͅm̷̤̬̰̈́́̈́͛͌̅́͜ͅį̶̢̛̟̰͙͉̳͓̤̳̓̿̂͛̋̓͊̀̕s̷̢͖̫̰̩̮̞̺̳̣̆͋̃̔̎̍̍̀̈́̑̀͆͝ṣ̶̡͎̣̤̟͎̾̄͑͐̉̄̑̿͂̕͠ ̶̨̘͉̬̮͚̲̖̊̅̈́̎̏̒̒̋͜y̶͖̩͕̬̥̱͖̜̻̓̎͌o̶͔̲̭͔̼̭̯͚͈̹̜͌̒̒͑̂͋͐̆̅͆̊̕͠u̵̘̫̩̓̇͂͆͋̆͊̾̈́͗̏̂͜
Darn, now I know that isn't a real message from the outside, nobody misses me.
A̵̱͓̤͚͍͖͔̅̀̓̑̽̌͛̏̓̇͝r̸̨̛̰͖̲̟͍̍͑́͠e̵̞̥̫̙̯̓͐͝ ̶͕̝̻͓̺͙͑̌̚͠ͅͅy̴̜̫̤̮̋o̴̧̜̬͙͙͖̊̃̄́̅͗͛̐̆̑̈́͠u̶̬̹̱̩͚̮̹̪͊̓̔̏ͅ ̸̨̡͍͚̼̟̻͈̣̲̱̈̐̐͒̄̕ͅs̵̤̽̈́̉̒̊̋u̸̢͉̩̣͈̙̼̘̘̥͎͕̎̄̾͗̇̕r̴̠͎̿͆̋̏e̶̖͖̱̮͈͉̥̭̺̺̗̋͋͌̏͒̓̓̽̚̕͜͝ ̶̭̼͖̝̫̭̭̖̣̞̗̜͂̀̐͛̍̒̈̚t̶̲̬̺͇͕̺͙͔͓̫͔̤̺̿̄̓̈͌̈́̕͠ḩ̶̺͓̱͚̥̓ȁ̶̡̳̟̞̠̀̇̆̀̉̒̈́͂̌̑t̴̥̥͍̠̖̠͍͇̰́́̀̈́͋̑͗͗͘'̸̢̨̤͖̱̭̰̠̻̓͜ͅͅs̸̡̡̘̱̘̭̜͉̓̈́͐͋͋͌ͅ ̶͖̖͗̑̐̐͗̌͐n̷̳͉͔͙̒̏͛̉̚̚͠͝ơ̸͚̤̤̯̥̤̪͖̰̝̦͖̈́͑͛̎͆̚͜͠͝t̵̖̠̘͚̯̲̝͇̭͕̮̖̅́͒̏̊̀̌͂͝ ̷̹̼͚͕͂̎̓̽̐̔t̶̫͕̻̠̣͝h̵̨̹̱̻̐͐̑̈́͂̕͝e̵͇͕̿ ̴̺̤͓̜̖̫̙͐̋̂̆͊̔̓̿̾̂͝͠ͅd̴̢̬̰͔̞̬͓̣͍̈́̽̎͠r̸̢̘̝̻̲̥̻̞̖̝̖͚̅̄͋͜e̶̢̫̹̞͓̮̭̬̟̯͓͇̍̉̏̍̐͂͂̊͘̕ȁ̴̩͙̠̟͈̲̗̝͋̔̉̾̾̏͘m̴̡̨̧̭̳̬̠̬̂̀̀ ̶̢̛̲̞̻̈͋̎̊͗̎̈̌̋͝ţ̷̳̱̳̗͝a̶͉̼̫͉̫̺̼̍͌̀̊̇̈́ͅl̴̨̤̣̯̲̠͙̝̬̳̥̒͌̊k̷̡̲̩̭̖̬̳͗͜ī̵̮̤̋ň̵̢͕̗̞̜͓͔̽͗̂̂̍͛̊̑̽̊g̴̙͍̭̟̼̔̐̂͗̏̋̂̕͜?̴͉̤̥͔̯͆́̎̎̋͊̃͘͠͝
The Mayans were right. The world ended in 2012 and we're actually in hell.
If the Mayans were right, guess that would mean we're probably in Xibalbá.
Except we pissed in the fountain