1y ago

What has been the biggest surprise about getting older?

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I think it's that you don't feel older mentally. I though I would feel a certain maturity once I reached an age where I had a solid, advancing career and owned a house. Turns out, I feel pretty much the same and am just better at dealing with things that arise and pretending that I'm mature. My body hurts more and my face looks older, but I don't feel all that different. I'm sure I've mentally changed to some extent, and I notice it more when I talk to younger people, but I still feel the same.
- This. Still feel and act as I did at thirty. This is going to get sad eventually.
  So far nothing like my 'parents' thankfully.
  
  I used to think this. I was in my late 20s but still felt like a teenager in my head.
  At some point in the last few years, after I crossed into my early 30s, I realized that wasn't true anymore. I don't feel like a teenager, I just feel like a 20 something now. Which is still incorrect but there's definitely been a shift.
  Maybe it stopped because when I'm around teenagers, I realize how much distance I feel from them. Not in a "kids these days" way, just in a general sense. A feeling like "...oh...I'm not like this anymore. I remember being like this, I still kind of am, but I haven't really been like this in a while." The juxtaposition is so evident that my unconscious self-perception can't maintain the denial.
  I certainly don't feel my age, but my "internal age" (so to speak) has progressed a bit. I guess it's a sliding scale.
  
  I'm in my sixth decade. It's not bad. Finally not giving any fucks at all. It's a sliding scale.
  Being Gen X is pretty good.
  Enjoy.
  
  Same for me. I don't sweat the small stuff anymore, and fairly much everything is small stuff now.
  
  Very best to you. Live long.
  
  Thank you! May yours be peaceful, prosperous and as long as you fancy
  
  That's a melodious turn of phrase. Thank-you.
- I think that you don't even notice yourself maturing because it is so gradual. It comes very slowly with life experience. You don't do something impulsive or you handle an emotional situation a little better or you make a difficult decision that younger you wouldn't. I think back to even just a few years ago sometimes and think "What a fuckin idiot that guy was". Sounds like pretending to be mature is almost the same thing as being it
- I don't really feel different or more mature or smarter or something, but starting to notice just plain... I dunno, experience? Like I see an 18 year doing something stupid, and I know it's stupid because I did the same thing.
  Thankfully, I also still realize just how useful and appreciated my advice will be, so I keep quiet.
  But yeah, the BIG generational gap I'm noticing is that I'm okay with playing. Like, gaming, rpg, boardgames, larp. That's cool with my generation and the newer ones. But for the vast majority of 50+ people, admitting that you like having fun is anathema for some reason.
  
  Like I see an 18 year doing something stupid, and I know it's stupid because I did the same thing.
  It's weird becaude I never identified with any of this. I never did anything wild and crazy in my teens and so I've never understood when people excuse wild and self destructive behavior as "they are just teens and they'll learn".
  I don't mean to say that I've always been more mature than my peers (my humor is very crude and immature)...just that I have never understood being impulsive and reckless, even as a teen.
  
  It's very common for teens to be impulsive and reckless because they're basically biologically programmed to be so. It's not something they can control, really, it's something they're experiencing. If you didn't go through that, it's all good, probably safer frankly, but it's not like people are aberrant for being reckless while maturing.
  
  I didn't say that it doesn't happen to people. I'm just saying I never understood it because I never experienced that and can't comprehend the mindset. I know I'm not the only person on the planet with the same experience either.
  
  But yeah, the BIG generational gap I'm noticing is that I'm okay with playing. Like, gaming, rpg, boardgames, larp. That's cool with my generation and the newer ones. But for the vast majority of 50+ people, admitting that you like having fun is anathema for some reason.
  I'm in my 40s and noticed that as well. People 10 years older than me (now in their 50s) have been telling me I'm too old for games for over 20 years now. I kind of feel bad for them, like they just missed out on being able to enjoy games. Personally, I'm looking forward to LAN parties in the nursing home.
- I heard someone say, “We don’t grow up, we grow old”
- Agreed. I’m almost 50, but I still feel like I’m in my 20s in many ways.
- Preach. I just turned 45 and I'm finally starting to physically feel older, but mentally I feel better than ever. I had a lot of mental issues due to being raised in an abusive household and I finally buckled down and got a lot of therapy. I'm not 100% and never will be, but I'm 90% and fighting for more every day. It's great, feeling like I actually have my shit together.
  Talking to younger people, people in their twenties mostly, is a bit depressing, though. I'm so out of touch with their culture and I don't know where to even start to get caught up. One lady offhandedly said something "slaps" and I had to ask if that's good or bad. Ughhhhhhhh.
  
  Exactly!
- I came here to write this.
  I can only add that with years I started doing the same stupid things with no regrets.
  Looking back, it would be hard to explain to the younger me, that there are no adults, but just ugly kinds.

174 comments