I'd pick the person.

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I feel like thats not even that many roaches for a real infestation
Also doesnt mention what kind
And there are proffesionals you can call probably once to deal with that problem.
If you find a human living in your attic unbeknownst to you well
Thats a lifetime of therapy or more to deal with after dealing with the immediate problem
Roaches every time
- I was going to say exactly this. 1,000 roaches is not that many roaches, can be easily dealt with, and pose no serious immediate threat.
  One human could kill you and your entire family and then burn your house down.
  
  If you see 1 roach, there’s probably 1,000 more hiding. If you see 1,000 roaches…
  
  Then there's only one hiding?
  
  yeah but he’s the size of Larry Bird and he sucks at hiding
  
  I don't know why, but this made me laugh so hard it hurt my ribs and stomach. I haven't laughed that hard in a while - thank you!
  
  Roaches can cause respiratory problems, but I'd take that over potential murder and rape.
  Also, I would be very disappointed in my dogs if they didn't notice a person living in the attic. You can find a ball by scent--you'd better notice a person creeping around!
  
  A person creeping around? That's just Paul, mate. You know Paul, he's been living in the attic for years. Stupid human, doesn't even recognize it's own flatmates.
  
  Very possible thought line for one of my dogs. The other doesn't trust anyone without endless cajoling.
  
  Paul --- is that the name of the faceless old woman who secretly lives in your home???
  
  My dog would have just befriended the person and convinced them to bring him snacks.
  
  Why do we assume the human wants to harm you? If they're in your attic, that means they would have already killed you if they wanted.
  Chances are if you maintain peace, they will.
  
  I don't want random dildos hanging out in my house without my knowledge, friendly or not. At least with the roaches, I don't have to have a conversation.
  
  It's so interesting that people assume the worst of the human, unironically says something about society. I was just imagining a homeless person.
  
  I take your point, but the reasoning "this person has already demonstrated themselves willing, able, and motivated to breach a major social contract related to your safety; therefore I fear that they may try to breach more" is not unreasonable. The proportion of "home invaders who are also (willing to be) murderers" is gonna be way larger than the proportion of willing murderers among the general population.
  
  Because humans are much more sneaky and vicious than that. People like that in the real world are squatters who can and have harmed them on discovery.
- Absolutely with you here. Roaches is normal at worst
- What if it’s a nice person though?
  
  They would have asked if they could live in my attic
  
  May I live in your attic? I’m a great cook.
  
  No thanks its currently occupied by spiders and i dont need more roommates
  
  I have a spider too! Her name is Bianca-Fabian.
  
  Mine doesn't have a name yet, but it caught that really annoying fly yesterday, which was nice.
- fr, that person might rape and/or murder me but the roaches won’t lol
- A LIFETIME of therapy?
- to be fairy there are also professionals who will be all too willing to take any unregistered humans off your hands...

192 comments