[Update] AtomicPoet has deleted the piefed.social communities where he was the sole moderator (!movies@piefed.social being the exception). Content is still available, details in the linked post
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Everybody in this thread is aware AtomicPoet doesn’t like being called ‘bro’, that’s the reason of the whole debacle
Umm, no, they aren't. Maybe they are now, after you made the comment I'm currently replying to, but I read your earlier comment and had to go back and double-check Hansae's comment hadn't been edited, because your response made no sense otherwise.
Maybe I should have added a link to the previous post in the OP of this one.
The events were happening in the span of a few days, I assumed most of the people would know of the context
I assumed most of the people would know of the context
Haha, nope. This is the very first post on the subject I've seen.
And now I'm just really confused about how someone could be offended by the term "bro". Personally I'd say it's gender-neutral, but I can understand a woman, especially a trans woman, being opposed to the term. But that doesn't seem to be what's going on here. So it's just...weird. It's a friendly term of endearment.
I edited both the OP and the comment, so hopefully it's more clear.
The reasoning behind it is that 'bro' can be related to the 'bro' culture (think cryptobros), that is not known for good discussions but rather dismissive comments and attitudes.
There is a more detailed explanation somewhere down the comments, but too lazy to find it now.
I don't really agree with that stance, but I can see why someone would think that.
Edit: found this https://atomicpoet.org/@atomicpoet/posts/AyXynXKOmOfyjE7Wb2
There is a more detailed explanation somewhere down the comments
Yeah I had already seen that, but it was so nonsensical I was hoping for something a bit more solid.
I appreciate you finding the longer source. Not sure why you're getting downvoted for sharing it...talk about shooting the messenger. I'll respond to it here, since I can't reply directly to @atomicpoet@atomicpoet.org's post on Mangane.
No offence to Chris, but their take here is utterly deluded. I'll avoid using "bro" with them (not that it's a particularly common part of my vocabulary, to my knowledge) out of kindness, but the reason they want it avoided is just insane. Suggesting that a friendly "hey bro" has anything to do with the toxic "bro culture" they describe is like suggesting Java has anything to do with JavaScript. Or cars are related to carpets.
Calling someone "bro" is no different to "mate". With the wrong tone or context, it can be passive aggressive, but by default it is jovial and good-natured.
Chris seems to have serious problems understanding context, and seems to be completely ignoring one of the first rules of online social interaction (and, to be honest, all social interaction): assume good intentions. They're looking for something to be angry about. And so they find it.
I’ve never once heard “bro” used in a genuinely positive way. Not once.
At best it’s fake-jovial. At worst it’s a way to diminish, antagonize, or mask hostility.
Case in point: this very thread. People kept saying “bro” not out of warmth, but because they thought it would piss me off. That’s not camaraderie—that’s toxicity.
And no, “bro” is not the same as “mate.” “Mate” might be regional slang. “Bro” is gendered. Which means it’s exclusionary by default. It assumes something about the person you’re talking to that may not be true. That’s not inclusion. That’s presumption.
So unless someone is your literal brother, why keep it around? If a word carries a whole lot of negatives and almost no positives, why pretend it’s harmless? Better yet—why does your urge to use a toxic word override my goal of building an inclusive community? Would you defend other toxic words the same way—words with even sharper malice baked in?
And if you would, then maybe the problem isn’t me banning “bro.” Maybe the problem is what you’re really defending.
Hi, so I'm the one that reported you to piefed.social.
Here's why:
That's it. That's the whole explanation.
Here's the thing. Just because YOU have personally never used bro in a genuinely positive way doesn't mean it hasn't. I have personally used it positively. I was there for my no familial relation bro at his wedding. Bro had a small wedding with only a best man. So I jumped in to help out with what was essentially groosmen duty because I'm there for my bro.
Secondly, while bro comes from a gendered word "brother", language is constantly evolving. Many people use it as a gender-neutral term for friends they wouldn't have sex with. Others use it as a mark of exasperation. Neither use of which is toxic, baked with malice, or toxic.
The problem really is your banning of the word "bro" because you're a moderator. It's one thing if you get personally offended by the word "bro" and ask people not to use it with you. That's fine, and I respect that view. It's another thing altogether to wield your mod powers and police everyone from using it.
You should have a really big think about it, because you destroyed the community you tried so hard to cultivate by projecting your negative view of "bro" onto others. You're still here talking about other people being the problem, yet you excluded people who had no malicious or toxic intent from joining your "inclusive" community.
Finally, if you have never once heard "bro" used in genuinely positive way, it sounds like you need better bro-models. Some bros are toxic, some bros aren't. You just haven't found the right bros yet.