"We're trying for a baby" is sexually graphic, and disgusting
It means they're having bareback sex and the man orgasms while inside her.
It should not be tolerated at the workplace. I'm forced to listen to this rhetoric because my shift isn't done yet, and I can't leave without getting fired. I'm forced into a sexual discussion without consent, and it's so graphically disgusting that I feel nauseous.
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here's the thing i don't know if many consider: being able to announce to an entire room full of strangers that you are having unprotected penetrative vaginal sex for the purpose of procreation is a unique experience only straight people are allowed to have. if i, as a gay person, merely make mention of my same-sex love life it may be seen as me "shoving it in everyone's faces" or "inappropriate," because the sex i have is pointless and therefore not worthy of the same kind of social acknowledgment. it's frustrating to hear straight people say shit like "yeah we're trying for a baby" because all i want to do is tell people i'm going to spend the weekend cuddled up with my boyfriend and i often can't.
being able to announce to an entire room full of strangers that you are having unprotected penetrative vaginal sex for the purpose of procreation is a unique experience only straight people are allowed to have.
y lesbian coworker announced she was trying to have a baby, which was through IVF. That doesn't include the raw dogging part, but it does meet the announcing to a room part.
Do straight people normally announce how they are trying? Everyone I know that said they were trying were doing fertility treatments that involved doctors doing an insemination instead of raw dogging it.
You're changing "trying to have a baby" to "unprotected vaginal sex" which is not what's being said, and comparing that to you saying "cuddling your BF". If you immediately jump to the specific details about them having sex, that's a you problem and kinda fucked up.
If you want to say you're cuddling your BF this weekend, and people are upset about it, put them on the spot and ask why. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that statement. Publicly shame people for their bigotry, and maybe they'll grow up or at least shut up.
I'm not gay. I worked in manufacturing for almost a decade, and those environments tend to attract a certain demographic of people. One June I put a rainbow flag up on my desk and it stayed there until I left the company. One of my favorite past times was pressuring people who made back handed comments to explain them. Admittedly, I grew up in a small town with 3 black people and no out gay people. It took me a minute to get comfortable with something that I grew up thinking was disgusting because of my surroundings. I fortunately didn't have to be shamed into change, just exposure was enough, but there are others that will never get there on their own.
what are you talking about? tell me what "trying for a baby" means if not having PIV sex lol. hey buddy, you don't know how it is to be gay in the workplace, so maybe don't tell me what i should or shouldn't do when my livelihood is on the line. think about your privilege here and who you are talking to. my point was this: people can make statements that IMPLY they are having sex with each other but i can't be assured my statement of merely cuddling with my boyfriend won't get me harassed or made to feel othered.
I think that if you immediately jump to PIV sex, that's fucked up. Grow up, be an adult. That's it. Other than that, take control of your own life. You don't like people putting you down for being gay? Don't put up with it. Stick up for yourself, or don't. Idgaf.
what the fuck else would that statement imply
Someone is starting a family? Someone is going through an emotional situation? Someone is going getting IVF? There's a lot more to having a child than fucking. Again, the fact that your mind immediately jumps to that conclusion and further that it grosses you out is extremely juvenile. There are 5th graders learning about sex ed that handle the notion of PIV sex better than you, who I assume is an adult.
that is a fair point. it's a sore subject for me, unfortunately. i may not have approached the topic in the right head space having grown up experiencing shame for simply being attracted to the same gender. i'd watch couples smile and laugh together and say, "we're trying for a baby," clearly implying what i was describing, and the room just reacting positively and encouragingly. you see that over and over and you can't help but develop a negative connection to the phrase. what you said is of course true. i don't react with disgust towards anyone, so at least i'm not making my discomfort known, but you've given me something to mull over and try to correct. sometimes you forget that you aren't being attacked anymore when it's all you've been used to.
NGL, I don't think that this was the response I was expecting. If you're being sincere, then I apologize for the hostility in what I've said. I got heated and said some things that are harsh. I know that as a straight caucasian male that I come from a place of privilege, and it's definitely easier to say something than it is to do something.
It's difficult for me to wrap my head around the idea that talking about pregnancy can be a trigger in this sense, but I do empathize with your situation. When I said I grew up in a small down with no out gay people, that was true. Within a year of me graduating, at least 5 maybe a couple more of my class of around 70 came out. One of them definitely went through some shit in school, because kids can be awful. I can proudly say I wasn't one of the bullies, but you'd have to live under a rock to not see it happening. I have no doubts that that can have a slew of possible effects that carry on into adulthood.
That's a lot of words to say, I hope that if you're going through some stuff or still fighting demons, that you find your way and live a happy life with the partner of your choosing.
i am being sincere, yes. i often try to face when i am wrong to determine why i acted the way i did. i’m glad you find it difficult to wrap your head around. that means you haven’t lived through what i have. nobody should. without going into much detail, i was bullied out of high school when my life was threatened. that’s the kind of place i grew up in.
i am fighting several demons still but thank you for your kind words.
Correct. Thanks for understanding. And I'm sorry. Hopefully someday we'll reach real inclusion. Best of luck to you and your family
Hopefully someday we’ll reach real inclusion, but in the meantime you want to silence all mention of intercourse? Isn’t there enough shame in our societies?
To be clear, I fully support the inclusion you’re talking about, but shaming and silencing hopeful parents is not going to achieve it.