4d ago

homelessness

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This right here is my biggest fear for my daughter.
She’s lazy. She’s unfocused. She’s isolated.
She is one of the greatest artists I have ever encountered in my life. Bad shit seems to come with that. I am afraid that the world will never know it because she isolates almost completely.
Her mother died from breast cancer when she was 13. I have been so unkind to my body and I’m afraid I won’t be here long enough to help her the way she might end up needing it.
She has her step dad who has remained a big part of her life since her mom passed away. He’s a great man and she and her mother were very lucky that he’s the one she found. She can’t get along with any of her mom’s family. I believe that my wife would always look out for her, but I wish they’d get closer. Her mom made that hard by saying only days before she died, “If you replace me with that woman I will spend eternity rolling in my grave.”
I have survived in this world because of my mother and my uncle. Without them I would have been homeless over and over again. I wish she would get closer with her mom’s family. I can’t make her stay with them though. Her aunt takes her to school if she misses the bus, so maybe she’ll look out for her.
It keeps me awake at night more than anything else.
- Has ADHD ever been ruled out? Cause being treated, this immensely increases the chances of a healthy and successfull adulthood...
  
  We’ve been trying to get a diagnosis for a few years. Everyone seems to agree she has it, but they’re scared to medicate her because of my issues with addiction I guess.
  We’re pushing the issue next week actually.
  
  A someone who became middle aged with it (ADHD), not knowing what it really was or how it was affecting me, it is worth the effort.
  They didn’t really prepare me for how much being medicated would change my life. Not that it cures everything, but I had to deal with a profound sense of loss for a few weeks after getting setup.
  I found it really hard when I started to remember all of the missed opportunities and experiences that this condition had taken from me over the years. If ADHD is the cause or a factor, she will thank you later.
  
  I wish my parents had got me help. The poor things couldn’t help themselves though.
  I waited too late with my daughter really, but we had a lot going on for a long time. Her mom lost her mind and totally threw everything in the wind and then got diagnosed with cancer and suffered horribly before dying.
  I’m hoping I can get her turned around now.
  My doctor won’t treat me (I definitely have adhd)because I’ve been on suboxone for a decade and they’re afraid I’ll abuse it I guess. I could go somewhere else but starting over on this is a nightmare. He says if I tested positive he’d have to put me in rehab.
  When I began I had to dose in front of a doctor every morning. That went on for several months, then I went once a week. That went on for several more months, then once every two. Several more months of that and finally once a month.
  On top of that, I had to go to group three times a week and one group with an actual psychologist once a month.
  I’d love to be able to use my brain. It has taken me over an hour to type this comment haha. I keep forgetting and then coming back by accident when I look at my phone.
  
  I’m sorry you are going through that.
  I didn’t think the meds for adhd were addictive to people who have it?
  My limited understanding is that whereas they would make a non-divergent person “high”, they make me more calm, collected and able to sort my thoughts. Just like Caffine and sugar often makes me sleepy. It’s kinda opposite.
  My Dr. Told me that if I had ADHD, I would know pretty quickly when I took my first, very small, dose because if I didn’t have the condition, I would feel like I suddenly had too much energy, or like my body was vibrating.
  The only thing I noticed first was that I could recall what I had to do later that day, which would not be the case otherwise.
  
  It’s still a worry in the world of recovery.
  I know this about myself for sure. I used to do coke once a year. I’d buy a weekend supply and have a ball. Can’t do that today because of fentanyl.
  Anyway. I was the only person in my group that could do a bunch of coke and sleep like a baby. I’d sit up and play shooters with more focus than I’d ever had and then I’d go to bed and get up and do it again the next day.
  Probably related.
  
  That certainly sounds like it. There is basically just a big ole list of indicators of having it and if you tick enough boxes, then welcome aboard.
  On the bright side. I’ve also noticed that other neuro-divergent people seem to be my favourite to hang around with. Something about being halfway through describing a thought and the other person already gets it makes me happy.

138 comments