Permanently Deleted

Thank you for this post. I can't say I agree with your reasoning and frankly I find your expanded explanation to be about as frustrating as your initial statement. However I've posted so much about all that stuff, the people who are interested in knowing what I think and my critique are well aware of it at this point.

I appreciate your apology, and I apologise for what I am about to say, but it does not feel genuine. I'm not trying to do some powerplay or something, and I've been told I need to apologise "correctly" before in my life and it's been incredibly hurtful because I did apologise "in the right way". I am in no way trying to do that to you right now, but I'm sure it can come off like that, but please trust it is not my intention. I just feel the need to explain how I experience your apology and why I experience it so.
It seems to me as though you still hold the same view of us as you did before, though you've phrased it better, and the issue is not language, but the viewpoint itself. @GamerGulag@hexbear.net Has put some of the issues into text already, I don't want to dig more into it, since I'd get too heated. It indicates to me that you have not actually taken to heart what was said in response to you. I am certain you wish the best for the place and you wish to move the site forwards, but I do not believe you've really done the self-crit necessary, because I do not get the feeling you understand what it is that should be critiqued.

Calling me privileged is frustrating. And you are. You are generalising a userbase, you are by that way calling each of us privileged. I am privileged, we all hold different privileges for sure, but using that as a dismissal is weak. I am disabled. I am unable to walk at times. I was suicidally depressed until recently. I lived for about $100 a month until 6 months ago when I finally got in a more stable situation. I think I might have undiagnosed PTSD from things that happened to me as a political activist. I am queer. I've been housing insecure before in my life, though thankfully that is a long time ago. How many more tickets do I have to tick off before I am sufficiently "not privileged" enough to be able to dunk without having to prostrate myself somewhere? Do I have to live in an active warzone for it to be acceptable, like other users do? Do I need to worry for the safety of my family, like other users do?

I agree there are things that should be critiqued about the tanks. I do not believe you are in a position to make those critiques.

I think you should step down as a mod. That would be a better indicator of self-crit to me.
I don't want you off the site, but I don't think you should be a mod.

edit: Also once again talking about worries of "a shadowy mod cabal" is incredibly frustrating. It's only those of you on the other end that talk about that. If you're gonna use your self-crit post to argue against critique, actually present the critique that has been leveled against you. That is not one of a "shadowy cabal" but one of a problematic mindset belonging to a cliquey group of mods. A clique is not a shadowy cabal, it's a group of shitty high schoolers.

edit: wrote more about how this isn't an apology