Don't fuck with a working man's lunch.

My ex-wife, after an argument the previous night, packed my lunch for me the next day, and that lazy "see you next Tuesday" NEVER packed my lunch, so I should have suspected something. She had put about 1/4 inch of mayo and mustard on it (actually I think it was Miracle Whip). I took a bite and spit it out. For a second I considered wiping it off, but instead I tossed both sandwiches in the trash and headed out to Taco Bell. She couldn't fucking stand for me to spend money on myself without her getting something, even if was just leftovers. When I got home at midnight, she was waiting for me at the door with a smug smile: "So, did you enjoy your lunch?'"

"Yes, I did," smiling back, "I had Taco Bell." wiping the smug smile right off of her cunt face.