how can I accept that if a loved one with dementia is an ass it's not really his fault, but the illness?

I know it's the anosognosia and it's not his fault but goddammit I cannot bear it anymore, he is an insufferable child in an old person's body, so needy and clingy, I know I shouldn't make it personal but when he's at home I cannot have a moment of peace or disengage, he is always doing some ridiculous sh%t.

I know I should stop blaming him and blame the illness but I simply cannot separate both things. It is him the one that makes me work extra hard only to keep him safe and he is also the one that yells, kicks and throws fits and argues.

have you managed to control this with meds alone?